Appleloosa
by Kraken Albatross
Summary: Ten years after the events of Over a Barrel, Applejack receives an unexpected letter that plants her and her friends in Appleloosa. However, the town has changed drastically since their first visit. Appleshy and Rainbowpie! Warning: Some strong language!
1. Chapter 1

Appleloosa

Chapter 1:

As the sun slowly emerged from below the horizon, an eruption of brilliant rays painted the sky, morphing it into an enormous orange and purple tapestry. The first beams of light to escape as the sun was reborn radiated through the window of a passenger train that barreled across the prairie. Applejack gazed out at the beautiful landscape as it rushed by her, unable to prevent the smile that crept to her lips as she took in the vista until she heard a murmur beside her. Applejack glanced over just in time to see Fluttershy shift in her sleep and the smile broadened across her face as she leaned back in her seat, shocked upon realizing that it had been ten whole years since the married couple had first taken the train together with their friends. She looked down at the wrinkled piece of yellowed paper clenched in her hooves, almost trying to forget that this letter that she had received a month ago was the reason that they were moving to Appleloosa. She uncrumpled the document and read it for the hundredth time.

_Dear Ms. Applejack,_  
><em>We regret to inform you of the death of your cousin Braeburn, due to injuries he sustained after falling from a ridge in his apple orchard. In his last will and testament he left his entire estate to you. This includes his orchard, farmhouse, and a small sum of money found on his body. You may retrieve the will and well as the money and the keys to the house at the mayor's office on West Dragon Boulevard when you are next in town.<em>

_Our most sincere condolences,_  
><em>The Town of Appleloosa<em>

Applejack could hardly believe that her life could change so drastically in four cold, impersonal sentences, barely a paragraph. She also had trouble fathoming that of all the ponies in Equestria that Braeburn could have left his estate to, he had chosen her. While they had become close after Applejack's relationship with Fluttershy alienated her from most of the Apple family, she had always assumed that there must have been _somepony_ in Appleloosa or any place else that knew him better. Then she considered his salt addiction.

Appleloosa had grown rapidly in its early years, and after the discovery of colossal gem deposits in the hills surrounding the town, ponies from all over the world came to stake their claim and make their fortune as the Equestrian frontier exploded. Consequentially, this meant that apples were no longer the dominant product of the region as gem hungry prospectors flooded the town and growers of all manner of crops set up farms to feed them. The town only kept the name 'Appleloosa' out of tradition. Braeburn apparently had trouble coping with the fierce, and at times, cutthroat competition and all of the stress combined with mare problems and who knows what else turned him to the salt, which lead to his slow and steady decline. Applejack sighed and slowly hung her head, wishing it hadn't come to that.

Regardless, Braeburn had entrusted her with all of his earthly possessions and she was not the kind of pony to let down a dead cousin, even if he had gone astray. Besides, Applejack knew that it was time for a change of pace and an excuse for a new life had been delivered right to her mailbox. As the family at Sweet Apple Acres grew to include Fluttershy as well as Big Mac's wife and two foals, money on the farm became tight. The income from one orchard simply wasn't enough to support so many ponies, and Applejack was happy to lighten the load and pave her own way in Appleloosa. She was just relieved that her wife had agreed to leave all of her woodland critter friends behind in order to join her. Just as Applejack was considering how lucky she had been, Fluttershy stirred and groggily opened an eye to look up at the mare beside her. Applejack ran a hoof through the pegasus' hair and smiled.

"Mornin' sugarcube," she greeted.

"What time is it?" Fluttershy asked sleepily, wincing and raising a hoof to shield her eyes from the garish sunlight.

"Just past dawn. I reckon we'll be pullin' into Appleloosa any minute." She sighed, obviously frustrated. "At least I hope so. We're already hours behind schedule! After all the fancy improvements to the rail and the engine and everythin' else, the darn thing still ain't on time!" She shook her head and looked back down at her wife, the scowl evaporating from her face. "You should try to get some more sleep. It's gonna be a long day," the earth pony advised.

"What about you? Have you even slept at all?" Fluttershy inquired with a concerned tone.

"Ain't tired," Applejack dismissed casually, looking back out the window.

"Oh." was all she responded with. During the long pause that followed, the yellow pegasus searched her wife's face. "If you're nervous don't be ashamed, okay? I'm nervous too. Anypony would be nervous," she reassured, snuggling against the earth pony. Applejack looked back at Fluttershy and couldn't help but smile as she draped a foreleg around her.

"Aww shucks, Fluttershy. I ain't nervous. I'm just... strategizin'... Ya know... About our plans once we're in town..." Applejack trailed off. She didn't even know what she was saying. She simply shook her head and patted smaller pony. "Don't you worry your pretty little head 'bout me, darlin'. I'm finer than a frog hair split four ways!" she affirmed.

"Frogs don't have hair," Fluttershy corrected sleepily, yawning and nestling into her seat in an attempt to fall back to sleep.

"Pumpkin _and_ cream cheese! Duh!" exclaimed an elated voice to the couple's right. Applejack turned her head and chuckled as she looked across the aisle at Pinkie Pie scribbling furiously in a notebook, pencil in mouth.

"How's the menu comin' along, Pinkie?" Applejack called over to her.

"Superly duperly! I can't wait till everypony in Appleloosa tastes my amazingly delicious cakes, and pies, and cookies, and donuts, and muffins, and brownies, and eclairs, and churros..." she rambled on.

"With your skills Pinkie, I'd wager that the Appleloosans don't right stand much of a chance. They'll be throwin' you all of their hard earned bits once you set up shop!" Applejack cut off, grinning at her friend until she heard a scoff from behind Pinkie.

"Oh yeah... There's nothing more lucrative than a bakery... We'll be millionaires in no time..." drawled Rainbow Dash sarcastically, gloomily staring out the window on the other side of the train at nothing in particular.

"Come on, Rainbow." Applejack pleaded, her eyebrows furrowing and her grin shifting to a frown.

"Oh she's just cranky because it's early and she's not a morning pony. Isn't that right Dashie?" Pinkie asserted, lovingly nuzzling the multicolored mane of her wife. Rainbow Dash uttered nothing more than a few grumbles and continued to blankly gaze at the horizon. Applejack sighed and reflected on the blue pegasus' bitterness, spying a crooked wing that pressed up against the seat cushion. Ever since the accident that obliterated any hope of her ever joining The Wonderbolts, Rainbow Dash had become significantly more morose and distant. This never caused her wife to care about her any less and Applejack thanked Celestia for that. She didn't even want to imagine what would happen to Dash without the pink pony in her life.

Pinkie Pie had suggested that the pair move to Appleloosa along with Applejack and Fluttershy almost immediately. Dash's impaired flying ability made it impossible to keep her job with Ponyville's weather crew and Pinkie could barely make enough money for both of them managing Sugarcube Corner. Unfortunately, Mr. and Mrs. Cake weren't going anywhere and her marriage to Rainbow Dash created a sizable rift between them. The earth pony's dream of one day owning the establishment was dimming every day, so the chance to open up her very own bakery in a pioneer town of countless opportunity was was too good to be true. Also, Between Twilight Sparkle's promotion to Princess Celestia's chief advisor in Canterlot and Rarity's explosion onto the Manehattan fashion scene, there wouldn't be much left in Ponyville for them once Applejack and Fluttershy left town. It was simply the most obvious choice. As for Dash, she would naturally follow wherever her wife chose to go. Although she would hardly ever show it much less admit it, all of her friends knew that Pinkie was the only thing in Dash's life that mattered to the pegasus anymore.

Just as everypony went back to their own business, the train lurched and began to slow down. Naturally, the prospect of their imminent arrival caused the passengers to clamor to the windows excitedly, all trying to catch a glimpse of their destination. However, once the train began to pull into Appleloosa, the hopeful smile on Applejack's face began to droop into an expression of horror. The town was so... different. She tried to think back to the adventure in her youth when she brought her favorite apple tree to Braeburn's orchard, and from what she could recall, it was hardly the same Appleloosa. For starters, the town was exponentially bigger, with muddy streets and alleys sprawling every which way. The buildings were crowded together and showed their age. The cheerful and animated settler ponies of her memory were replaced by grim and dirtied individuals, mostly stallions, shuffling through the crowds indifferently. Even the sky looked grayer. Although the rest of the passengers seemed undeterred by the sight, Applejack bit her lower lip and brought a hoof up to rub her head.

"Oh horsefeathers. What have you gotten yourself into, AJ?" She muttered to herself.

The swarm of bright eyed travelers flooded out of the train cars, eager to begin their own adventures. None of them appeared to be offput by the appearence of the town. Applejack and Rainbow Dash navigated the throng to find their luggage and arranged for it to be delivered to Braeburn's old farmhouse and a room at the Pioneer Central Hotel, respectively. Upon meeting back up, the group looked about the station, admiring its brilliantly sleek design, a direct contrast with the rest of the town.

"Well at least the train station is clean..." Applejack commented under her breath.

"It's not just clean! It's amazing! Everything is so super awesome and pretty and I mean, just look at all the gold!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, apparently having caught the orange mare's quip. She twirled around shaking her forelegs at the entire station, especially the gleaming golden sign mounted at the entrance that read "Atlantis Locomotives."

"It is very... nice." Fluttershy agreed quietly.

"The most nice!" Pinkie giggled. "I could just live here and sleep on the benches!" She joked and pantomimed an exaggerated snore after flopping down on the nearest bench. Everyone but Rainbow Dash laughed.

"Then you'd be a bum," she asserted dryly. The pegasus looked around skeptically. "Sure, it looks fancy, but what good is that when the train doesn't even get here on time?" The other three looked at each other quizzically, not exactly sure what to say. She did have a point.

"Four hours behind schedule! Four!" Accused an angry voice behind them. The party turned to see an irate turquoise pegasus mare glaring at the team of stallions that had pulled the engine. Her striking seafoam green mane flowed in the light breeze that ran through the station, falling like water over her shapely frame. Even Applejack was impressed by her beauty, almost contradicting her impatient and commanding demeanor.

"Well at Prankton, the mayor demanded that we stall in town to let a magistrate from Canterlot finish his dinner and catch the train," one of the stallions defended.

"Do you work for the mayor of Prankton?" she asked, incredulously.

"No, but he said that if we didn't wait, he'd-"

"Then you tell him that I'll take full responsibility! I can handle blowhard politicians and nobles," she instructed, sighing and shaking her head.

"Well there was also this hot air balloon that-" began another member of the engine team.

"I don't have time for your excuses. I have a freight train that needs to be in Stableleen by noon and I need this engine to pull it. Not to mention the miles of track we're laying to Coltorado Springs and Hoofstone as well as maintenance on the entire Armadillo line. The last thing I should be worrying about is something as trivial as the trains _being on time_. So please, do your jobs," she interrupted, turning to leave.

"Yes, Ms. Atlantis," the team replied obediently in unison. The four Ponyvillians stood mouths agape upon hearing the pegasus' name, looking up at the sign and back down to the mare several times. Applejack began to trot over to her and called out.

"Hey! You run the whole railroad!" was the only thing the earth pony could think to say. Atlantis stopped her brisk trot and rolled her eyes.

"Yes. Yes I do," she deadpanned.

"Name's Applejack! Us four just took your fancy train! It was mighty comfortable!" she beamed, gesturing to her wife and friends, introducing them one by one.

"Glad you enjoyed it," Atlantis responded impatiently, slightly tapping her hoof and looking at the large golden clock at the center of the station. She sized up the group and judging by their eager smiles, she knew they weren't going to leave her alone. "So what? Are you tourists?" she asked to speed up the conversation without being rude to her own customers.

"Nopey dopey!" Pinkie chimed in. "We're opening a bakery!" she informed enthusiastically while putting an arm around Rainbow Dash endearingly.

"And me and the misses are takin' over management of Appleloosa Orchards!" Applejack added. Atlantis took a step back and her eyes widened, obviously surprised and impressed.

"How do you like that? Some industrious entrepreneurs! Celestia knows, this town needs them. It's a pleasure to meet some capable ponies, since apparently none work for me," she said, actually smiling as she warmed up to the group.

"Oh, we didn't mind the delays. It was just nice to be able to enjoy the scenery," Fluttershy reassured.

"I'm glad for that, but it's still completely unacceptable for a legitimate railroad operation. Some ponies would rather die than make one rational decision for themselves," Atlantis responded, sighing. "If only I could be everywhere at once to think for them," she lamented.

"If communication's the problem, why don't you just hire some unicorns?" Rainbow Dash asked matter of factly. It was the first time she had spoken in the conversation.

"Excuse me? I employ many-" Atlantis began.

"No, no, no. I mean, just put a unicorn on each train so they can wizard letters back to HQ, then you have your own unicorn to respond. There are spells for that, right?" Dash suggested. Atlantis raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"Oh. Magic. Why didn't I think of that?" she asked, laughing. "Well thought out, Ms. Rainbow Dash. I'll keep that suggestion in mind. Thanks for the input," she said and nodded to the blue pegasus.

"Eh, it just seems to make sense," Dash responded, simply shrugging. Atlantis turned to Pinkie pie and grinned.

"Keep this one around. She's got a good head on her shoulders," she complimented, gesturing to Dash. Pinkie giggled and nuzzled her wife.

"For forever and ever and beyond and infinity plus one!" the pink pony reassured.

"Good. Well I need to be off preventing the utter collapse of my railroad, so unless you need anything else..." the turquoise pegasus said, trailing off.

"Actually, since you're from 'round these parts, can ya point us in the direction of the town doctor?" Applejack asked, remembering the crumpled letter in her luggage.

"Oh no. Are you sick Applejack?" Fluttershy cut in, legitimate concern in her eyes.

"Of course not sugarcube. I just want to ask the doc a few questions is all," the earth pony reassured, winking at her blushing wife.

"You'll be wanting Doctor Nevermore. He's set up at the end of Dead Mare's Alley, just around the corner there," Atlantis informed, pointing out of the station at the street. The group gaped at her in horror. "Hey, I don't name the streets," she said, shrugging. "Just know, the doc is a real ass," she warned.

"Beg pardon? You mean he's a donkey?"

"No. He's just a jerk. And trust me, I know. I married him," she announced with a grin, spreading her wings and taking off. "I'm sure I'll see you around!" the turquoise pegasus called down as she waved goodbye and flew away. Rainbow Dash's eyes narrowed as she watched Atlantis enviously. Seeing her wife slowly lower her head caused Pinkie to quickly change the subject.

"So how about that stuff we have to do, huh?" she abruptly spat out.

"We do have to shop around for vacant lots to build the bakery on," Dash confirmed, with an ounce of enthusiasm. Pinkie sighed in relief, grateful that she was spared the sight of a miserable Rainbow Dash, at least for now.

"While ya'll do that I s'pose we can pay a visit to Doctor Nevermore," Applejack agreed. "Sound like a plan, Fluttershy?" she asked her wife.

"Oh of course. Whatever you want to do is fine," the yellow pegasus submitted.

"Okey dokey lokey! Let's split up gang! Meet back at the mayor's office at oh-noon-hundred-hours! Let's go, team!" Pinkie shouted, sticking a hoof out for a team cheer. The other three just blinked at her.

"See you guys at noon," Rainbow Dash said flatly, nodding at Applejack and Fluttershy. She turned to go, leaving her wife still frozen in place as she waited for three other hooves to bring it in.

"Take it easy, Dash," Applejack replied, chuckling as Pinkie Pie snapped out of her pose and hopped after her wife.

"Wait for me, my love!" she called out dramatically, chortling along the way. Applejack watched Pinkie go and scratched her head.

"Ya know even after all these years I still wonder how those two ended up together," she commented.

"I think they're such a cute couple," Fluttershy beamed dreamily.

"I reckon 'cute' is the proper word," Applejack conceded. "But it must be... exhausting. For both of em," she continued.

"Unlike our relationship?" Fluttershy asked coyly.

"'Course, sugarcube. Lovin' you is the easiest thing in all of Equestria," Applejack affirmed, winking at her furiously blushing wife who was at a loss for words. "Why don't we mosey on over to Dead Mare's Alley?" she suggested. The pair made their way out of the train station and into the crowded streets.


	2. Chapter 2

Appleloosa

Chapter 2

Fluttershy bit her lip as their hooves sloshed through the muck of the thoroughfare, trying not to let her repulsion overcome her. Applejack didn't seem to mind. The friendly encounter with such an admirable pony had mostly dispelled her initial reservations about the town. She hummed happily while trudging onwards until she felt an inexplicably ominous feeling as if she was being watched. The mare stopped in her tracks and swivelled about in attempt to confirm or dispell her feeling. She searched through the crowd but couldn't find any observers. After several moments of frantic scanning, she was beginning to think she was simply mistaken or was even going mad, nervously laughing off her silliness. Then she saw him.

Her gaze made its way to a two story building fastened with a large wooden that read 'The Pearl Saloon.' It was on the second floor balcony where she locked eyes with the dark gray unicorn stallion that had been watching her. Upon being discovered, the stranger's eyes did not waver and he continued his fixed gaze. Applejack couldn't put her hoof on the nature of the stare. It didn't appear to be inherently malicious or malevolent, but there was not an ounce of joy or kindness in it either. It was simply... intense. Applejack felt as if his eyes were piercing her very soul and she was suddenly overwhelmed with a bizarre feeling of terror. She broke off her futile attempt to stare him down and looked at the ground, ashamed. The earth pony hadn't been that scared since she was a little filly.

"What's wrong Applejack?" asked Fluttershy who had kept her head down to navigate the terrain until now. Applejack didn't respond at first. She was lost in her thoughts, trying to understand what had just happened. She didn't dare look back up to the balcony.

"Applejack?" the pegasus asked again in a nervous tone, nudging her wife. The earth pony quickly shook her head, snapping back to reality.

"What? No! Nothing's the matter! Everything's just swell! Just a bit of a headache is all," Applejack finally responded, grinning awkwardly.

"How fortunate that we're already on our way to visit the doctor right now," Fluttershy beamed, turning back to keep walking.

"Yep... how fortunate indeed..." Applejack said warily as she followed after her wife. She could feel his eyes on her every movement until they turned down Dead Mare's Alley. Applejack let out a sigh of relief when they got out of sight. Although the strange gray pony haunted the back of her mind, she could finally focus on the task at hand. The couple made their way down the alley until they hit a dead end.

"Is this it?" Fluttershy asked, confused. The structure in front of them was less of a doctor's office and more of a cabin connected to a large tent.

"I s'pose so," Applejack answered, spying a crudely painted image above the door depicting two snakes wrapped around a scepter. They entered the cabin and were met with the sight of a purple unicorn stallion busying himself at the far end of the room. The glow from his horn flickered on his shaggy dark blue mane as it lit up the cramped workspace as he plucked various herbs that had been strung up from the ceiling and brought them down into a mortar. Not quite sure if the doctor had heard them come in, Applejack cleared her throat to get his attention. He continued to take no notice as he hobbled over to a nearby cabinet to fetch a jar of some nondescript liquid. Applejack squinted to peer through the dim room, observing the busy unicorn. She noticed that he was very thin, appearing almost withered, and that in place of a right hind leg was a wooden prosthetic. Her eyes widened in surprise, especially upon remembering that he was apparently Atlantis' husband.

"Beg pardon sir, but are you Doctor Nevermore?" she finally asked, tired of attempting to secure his attention subtly.

"You can call me Pegleg," he said dryly, not even turning his head to look at them as he continued his work. Applejack hesitated awkwardly, not sure if he was serious or not. "What do you want?" he snapped in an irritated tone as he ground the herbs in the mortar with a pestle.

"Well, I was wonderin' if you had happened to see to a pony who died from a fall 'bout a month ago," the mare asked nervously, obviously thrown off by the doctor's gruffness. Fluttershy even stepped out of the claustrophobic cabin into the adjoining tent which housed a handful of sleeping patients in order to escape the uncomfortable atmosphere.

"You mean the idiot that tumbled from a ridge while in the midst of a dehydrated stupor?" he asked indifferently, quickly added some liquid to the powdery mixture. Applejack was completely taken aback.

"Now you wait just a minute, mister. Braeburn was-" the mare began to scold, extremely offended by the crassness of the doctor who almost seemed to be bored by her.

"Oh no! Were you a friend of his?" Nevermore inquired in an overly dramatic and patronizing tone, turning to look at her for the first time since the pair had entered his office.

"Cousin..." Applejack corrected sharply, firing a glare at him.

"And what could you possibly have to gain from my autopsy on - Do _not_ touch my patients!" he shouted, looking past the orange mare at Fluttershy who had begun to wipe the sweat off the forehead of a feverish little colt who was fast asleep on a cot.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean-! I was just trying to-! I'll wait outside..." Fluttershy apologized, stumbling over her own words. She darted out of the cabin on the verge of tears, the heavy door slamming behind her. Applejack was absolutely livid.

"You know what? Your wife was right about you!" she said, taking a few steps towards him.

"That I'm a wonderful husband, an incredibly skilled doctor and an even better lover?" Nevermore mocked, not affected by her anger in the slightest.

"No! That you're a _real ass!"_ Applejack screamed.

"I knew she only liked me for my body," the doctor pouted with an exaggerated expression of false anguish. The orange pony sighed and slumped forward, realizing that she was getting nowhere. Nevermore acknowledged her resignation and spared her further sarcasm. "Why do you care about your cousin's autopsy?" he questioned bluntly. Applejack looked at the ground dejectedly, digging her hoof into the floor slightly. She swallowed her pride and decided to just get the whole encounter over with as fast as possible.

"It's just that Braeburn was always so good on his hooves, even when he was... on that stuff. Seems a tad fishy to me is all," Applejack explained, her mood dampening as she thought about her cousin's demise.

"You mean to suggest that he was _m-m-murdered?_" Nevermore gasped, employing dramatic emphasis and faux shock to mock the earth pony further. He simply couldn't help himself. Rather than take offense, Applejack blushed and looked away, embarrassed.

"I didn't say 'murder' or anything of the like! I only wanted to make certain that his wounds were seen to after he died. Rule out foul play an all," she asserted without looking up at him.

"Foul play _is _murder," the doctor informed, sighing. "Listen. I did perform an autopsy and the body had no stab wounds, he wasn't strangled, and everything that I saw would point to a death from impact. How your cousin came to fall from the ridge, I can't say for sure, but there's an obvious answer. He was a junkie and an idiot. He got dehydrated and wasn't looking where he was going. It's as simple as that," Nevermore said grimly. The unicorn turned back to his desk and continued working silently. He jotted a few things down on a large scroll before pouring the new concoction into a vial.

"Thank you kindly for your time, doc," Applejack said sadly, knowing that the conversation was over. She headed for the door, careful not to make too much noise as she exited.

"You're welcome," Nevermore responded after a long pause. She turned around, taken completely by surprised that he had offered her any courtesy. "You sure chose a hell of a time to come to Appleloosa. Pretty soon, '_foul play'_ will be the least of your worries," he added ominously with a shake of his head and grave but knowing grimace. Applejack didn't even have an inkling of what the doctor could possibly mean, but she was not about to begin deciphering riddles. The mare simply nodded to Nevermore and left. As she stepped back out into the sunlight, she glanced over at Fluttershy who was moping about the entrance.

"Y'okay, sugarcube?" she asked, reassuringly nuzzling the pegasus' neck.

"Yes... It was my fault... I shouldn't have interfered with the doctor's practice. I just felt so bad for the sick little colt," Fluttershy answered, looking up at Applejack morosely.

"You meant well and that's all that matters as far as I'm concerned. I don't care how busy the doc is, there ain't know excuse for him bein' such a sore ass," the earth pony offered, chuckling.

"Maybe..." Fluttershy conceded slightly, the hint of a smile sneaking to her lips. "Did you find out what you wanted to know?" she asked, hoping that the doctor had helped Applejack make peace with her cousin's death.

"Yep. I s'pose Braeburn just hit rock bottom and let it kill him..." the earth pony answered bluntly. "At least I know for certain..." she added, somewhat satisfied. "Well, we should be gettin' to the mayor's to collect Braeburn's effects and meet up with Dash and Pinkie," she decided and the couple made their way back down the alley out onto main street. As they turned the corner, it took all of Applejack's resolve to crane her head towards the The Pearl. She let out a deep sigh of relief upon discovering that the balcony was vacant. The mare was grateful that she could continue her trip through the crowded streets with at least a little more peace of mind.

"I love it! Let's buy it!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, bouncing around a vacant lot on the other side of town.

"You said that about the last seven..." Rainbow Dash wearily commented, carefully inspecting every inch of the lot as well as meticulously calculating all of the pros and cons of its location. "And they all had severe flaws... Like being across the street from the town dump... Or being at a dead end on the edge of town... Or being right next to direct competition..." she continued monotonously, barely paying attention to the skipping pink pony.

"Pfffft! A restaurant isn't _direct_ competition, silly! It's more like indirect competition!" Pinkie retorted playfully.

"Even if it isn't another bakery, somplace that serves food right next door _will_ hurt business. You need to think about these things, Pinkie!" the pegasus implored, turning to her wife with a look of desperation.

"That's why I have you, Dashie! Because of your amazing amazingness, I don't _have_ to think about these things! I don't have to think at all! Yay!" the earth pony exclaimed, giggling as she slung a foreleg around Dash's shoulder endearingly. The pegasus quickly shook her off and sighed.

"So I'm an enabler? I enable your... Pinkieness?" she asked, arching an eyebrow as she began to lighten up, her usual gloomy disposition slowly fading.

"Yup, yup, yup! Didn't you know that's the only reason I married you?" Pinkie teased with a devious smirk.

"Thank Celestia I have at least one use..." Rainbow Dash deadpanned. "And for your information, you wouldn't have such an amazing enabler at your beck and call if you didn't have such a fine flank. Just keep that in mind," she added with a grin before the couple broke out into laughter.

"In that case, I'll make sure to take extra good care of it!" Pinkie assured as the giggling subsided. "So what is your judgement on this plot, oh so wise enabler?" Pinkie asked, getting back to the task at hand. Rainbow Dash put a hoof to her chin as she attempted to appraise the lot's value.

"It's a corner location so there will be a lot of traffic, there appears to be no competitors in the area, and it's right by the orchards for faster and easier resupply..." the pegasus considered.

"Soooooo?" Pinkie Pie urged, almost falling over in anticipation.

"I say we buy it. We'll be well bought at five thousand and we don't go over seven," Rainbow Dash judged resolutely.

"Hooray! We finally did it! We have our bakery!" The earth pony exclaimed, throwing her hooves into the air in the middle of the barren plot of land. Rainbow Dash sighed and turned toward the center of town.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Pinkie. We don't even own the lot yet. Come on, it's almost noon. We can ask the mayor about the purchase once we meet up with Applejack and Fluttershy," the pegasus said as she began heading towards the West Dragon Boulevard with her wife in tow.

Upon reassembling and swapping their stories as well as initial impressions of the town, the group made their way into the waiting room of the large green building adorned with two gaudy, golden dragons. In between the gaping jaws of the statues rested glittering letters that spelled out 'MAYOR.' The four ponies took in the elaborately decorated lobby with faces of disbelief. Fine silk was draped all about the room lit by bright paper lanterns with carefully painted murals elaborately sprawled on two of the walls. Not only did it appear much more extravagant than the rest of the town, but in addition, it seemed... foreign. As they admired the unique appearance of the room, the door to the inner office shot open and a white pegasus stallion with a neat gray mane adorned with a large top hat stormed out with a bitter scowl on his face. Muttering to himself, he made his leave so quickly the group barely caught a glimpse of the star shaped badge that gleamed on his chest.

"Was that... the sheriff?" Fluttershy meekly asked, obviously unsettled by the stranger's tumultuous exit.

"Mr. Oolong will see you now," the attractive young mare at the front desk called to them before anyone could answer. The group simply looked at each other and without further conversation, they rose from their seats and entered the office. At the far end of the room, behind a very low table, sat a portly old earth pony stallion atop a large floor cushion. His mane was as brilliantly golden as the various statues in his office and even his jade colored body seemed to glimmer, despite his old age.

"Howdy, Mr. Oolong. We're-" Applejack began, attempting to get the meeting underway as fast as possible.

"Hello young Applejack and friends! Would any of you care for a nice, hot cup of relaxing tea?" the mayor interrupted with a broad smile. His accent was as foreign as the decor of his office. He gestured to an ornate porcelain teapot before him, the steam still rising from its spout. Pinkie Pie immediately darted to the sit on the floor cushion across the table and beamed back at him.

"Tea? For me? Yes, please!" she exclaimed before Rainbow Dash quickly yanked the earth pony up by the scruff of her neck with her mouth.

"Oh, no you don't. Caffeine is the last thing you need," the pegasus told her with a look of exasperation, as if she stood at the precipice of a terrible calamity. Pinkie Pie drooped with a pouty face as she sulked quietly.

"I apologize, Mr. Mayor. Thank you kindly for the offer, but we simply don't got time for tea, or relaxin' for that matter," Applejack explained.

"The time to relax is when you don't have time for it," Oolong responded, his smile never fading. "So young and full of purpose, driven on without a moment to waste," he commented, slowly rising from his seat as his deepset eyes studied Applejack. "Perhaps when you reach my age, you will realize the importance of slowing it all down, like a captain whose ship runs aground... You can always wait until the tide comes around," the elderly pony mused with a wink. The orange mare arched an eyebrow and was momentarily speechless, not quite sure of the mayor's point. At this point she was beginning to be fed up with these bizarre Appleloosans constantly judging her.

"...Maybe... But for now I just need Braeburn's effects, mister," she bluntly responded after a drawn out pause. Oolong's grin disappeared as he turned away from her and approached a large wooden chest behind the table.

"Such a tragedy. Braeburn was a kind and passionate boy," he said as he rummaged through the chest. "All of us gather demons in the mirror everyday, but for some of us, the light fades before we can vanquish them. Such a pity," the mayor continued, shaking his head slowly as he retrieved a small parcel. "This is what you came for, yes?" He asked. It was apparently a rhetorical question, as he handed it to her before she could respond. Applejack quickly placed it in her saddle bag.

"Much obliged, Mr. Mayor," she said with a hint of sadness in her voice.

"I am certain that you will honor your cousin's legacy and make your family proud," he assured her with a gentle smile as he sat back down and poured himself a cup of tea. His wisened eyes appeared completely free of any doubt.

"I appreciate the vote of confidence," she responded with a half chuckle, her mood recovering slightly.

"You emit an aura of aptitude, young Applejack. If I were a gambling pony, I would bet my fortune on you," the mayor said with a nod before taking a sip of his tea. "Oh, wait... I am a gambling pony! Speaking of that, who is up for a game of mahjong?" he asked with a large cheesey grin as he whipped out a set of tiles from under the table at lightning speed. The jaws of everyone but Pinkie dropped as they looked at each other incredulously as the pink pony once again zipped to the floor cushion across from the mayor.

"It's on!" she exclaimed, hefting a sack of coins onto the table.

"Do not worry young mare. I will try to go easy on you," he said after a hearty laugh, obviously impressed with Pinkie's enthusiasm. The mare gasped and furrowed her brows.

"As if! You're going down Oolong!" she challenged before she was once again yanked up from her seat by Rainbow Dash.

"No, Pinkie! Do you even remember why we're here?" Dash asked with a long sigh. The earth pony blinked vacantly.

"...Mahjong?" she guessed.

"No! Oh my gosh..." the pegasus groaned before turning to Oiling who had been entertained watching the display before him. "Look, Mr. Oolong, sir. We're looking to buy lot fourteen right off Sarsaparilla Avenue," she quickly informed, her patience wearing thin. The mayor placed a hoof to his chin and began to think long and hard. The room was silent as the group anxiously awaited his response.

"I am afraid I cannot help you," Oolong finally responded with a resolute nod.

"...What?" Rainbow Dash asked as she rose an eyebrow.

"I believe that lot is owned by Black Hill, the proprietor of The Pearl Saloon," he said before taking another sip.

"What?" Applejack exclaimed, her eyes wide almost to the point of frenzy upon recalling the occurrence earlier in the day. Everyone turned to stare at Applejack, their faces utterly confused. "I mean... how 'bout that..." she continued as she looked down at the floor, blushing furiously. Applejack cursed herself silently. She just couldn't win today.

"To be honest with you, I am surprised that you are surprised. He owns half of Appleloosa's real estate," Oolong admitted.

"What?" four voices rang out in unison.

"In our humble town, we foster an environment of entrepeneurship. Ponies should reap the benefits sewn by the sweat of their brow and the strength of their back alone," he explained before finishing his tea.

"But a lone pony ownin' half the town? Sounds like a whole can of worms just askin' to get opened," Applejack asserted, not quite sure if it was her place run tell the mayor how his town should be run. Oolong didn't seem to mind, chuckling at the mare's anxiety and shrugging it off.

"Mr. Hill is indeed a... shrewd businesspony. However, that is what makes him such an asset to the town. Remember this if you choose to conduct business with him: Keeping one's wits is the key to success, but if your nerves go, you will never stand a chance..." Oolong advised in a tone laced with gravitas. Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy gulped as Rainbow Dash simply narrowed her eyes and smirked. They thanked the mayor for his time and promptly took their leave.


	3. Chapter 3

Appleloosa

Chapter 3

"Well that was hardly what I was expecting," Applejack commented as the party stepped out into the thoroughfare.

"Some mayor! If he let's everypony do whatever they want, like I don't know, maybe buy half the town, what's the point of even having a mayor?" Rainbow Dash exclaimed in a huff. "...Talking like we can't handle some sleazy businesspony..." she added mostly to herself.

"I'm sure Mr. Oolong does many things like... make laws," Fluttershy suggested quietly.

"Apparently, even the sheriff don't like his laws if that dramatic exit was any indication," Applejack responded, not sure why she felt the need to side with Dash. The yellow pegasus submitted through silence.

"Well I liked him! He was like a friendly cute grandpa!" Pinkie Pie asserted with a giggle which was met with a groan from her wife.

"You would. You would just love to gamble away our savings while sucking down tea with that senile old coot, wouldn't you?" Dash responded bitterly, dismissing Pinkie's approval. "Come on, let's get to The Pearl and size up this big shot," she continued as she gestured her wife to follow her.

"Actually, I was thinkin' we could join you at the saloon," Applejack suggested somewhat awkwardly, a hint of nervousness permeating her voice. Rainbow Dash stopped and quirked an eyebrow as she looked at her friend.

"Why? You have the key to the farm house. Don't you want to go check out your new home?" the pegasus inquired. The earth pony turned her eyes toward the ground.

"Well I figured we weren't in a rush and maybe y'all needed some backup," Applejack answered before turning to her wife. "If that's all right with you, sugarcube," she added.

"Oh it's fine. I've never been in a saloon before," Fluttershy responded, filled with naive enthusiasm.

"Whatever," Rainbow Dash conceded with a shrug. As the group made their way down Main Street, Applejack bit her lip in anticipation. She was glad that her excuse was bought without much consideration. She could never admit that her true motivation was the stranger on the balcony. She had a hunch that he was the same pony the mayor had mentioned but she needed to be sure. For some inexplicable reason, she felt the need to meet him face to face.

When the group finally arrived at The Pearl, they took a moment to take in the building. It loomed over them, casting an enormous afternoon shadow that engulfed much of the thoroughfare. Even the carving of a giant clam, pearl included, possessed an unsettling quality. They could hear the low wail of a piano as the muffled notes sailed over them from inside. The music almost sounded... sad. At this point, even Rainbow Dash was beginning to be affected. The pegasus quickly shook off the ominous feeling that was beginning to creep up her spine and the four ponies stepped inside.

"Well slap me thrice and hand me to me mum! Four mares, here, and to top it all off, it's only four o'clock! It must be my lucky day!" exclaimed a burgundy earth pony stallion that was standing behind the bar, a broad smile across his face. His accent was foreign, but apparently from a different part of Equestria than the mayor's.

"Oh... howdy," Applejack greeted, surprised by the sudden and enthusiastic bartender. His extremely short, blood red mane contrasted with his enormous size. He was at least two feet taller than the mares and his broad frame was complemented by a set of huge muscles.

"'Ello there! Welcome to The Pearl! Tray of salt for you? Maybe one on the house for the pretty little thing in the back?" he offered, shooting a wink at Fluttershy who immediately turned red and turned away, a flattered smile on her face.

"Oh my. I mean, oh no. I mean, no thank you... sir," the pegasus replied as she looked away, still blushing profusely.

"As you wish, poppit. Anypony else?" he inquired, unfazed by Fluttershy's awkward rejection.

"No!" Applejack responded for the group sharply, a twinge of jealousy in her voice.

"Actually, we're only here to speak with Black Hill," Rainbow Dash informed promptly, cutting to the chase. The bartender's smile gave way to a serious look of consideration.

"To what purpose, love?" he asked slowly. Dash had to roll her eyes and shake off his manner of speaking. She didn't particularly take kindly to being called 'love' by a stranger, especially a stallion.

"We're going to buy one of his lots," she explained bluntly. Without saying a word to Rainbow Dash, he looked over to a brown pegasus stallion seated at the piano who gave him a slight nod.

"Black! Some mares here to see you! Looking to see about a lot, they are!" he suddenly shouted up at the exposed second floor to an open door that was presumably the proprietor's office. The few saloon patrons that were in the building turned to the four mares with bewildered expressions before turning back to their own business at the bar, poker table, and the like.

"Okay Pinkie, because this is your bakery, you need to do the talking. It's how you deal with guys like this. He won't want to deal with an intermediary. Do you think you can handle it?" Rainbow Dash said in a low voice.

"Duh! Talking is what I do best, silly!" Pinkie replied enthusiastically. Her face composed into a serious look of determination that evaporated when a loud thud rang out through the saloon. It was followed by another, and then another as the slow and heavy footsteps grew louder until the open door was darkened by a dark gray unicorn stallion. His greasy, black, slicked back mane shone as he emerged from his office and leaned on the railing to observe the entirety of his saloon. Applejack's heart sank to her stomach upon realizing that it was the same unicorn who had stared her down. She made sure not to make eye contact with him as he surveyed the room.

"So these are the Ponyvillians I've been hearing about! Come from their civilized world to bestow culture, and courtesy, and every other fucking thing to us uncouth savages, squatting like beasts out on the fringe of society!" the unicorn called down with a grin as he made his way to the stairs. No one had any idea how to respond. He appeared to be jovial and outgoing, but there was something... dire about him. All of the mares could sense it, but they couldn't put their hooves on his exact nature.

"You've heard about us?" Pinkie asked cautiously, remembering her orders to do the talking whilst taking great pains to suppress her 'Pinkieness'.

"When one has a hoof on the throat of the town, one tends to hear things," he conceded with a slow nod.

"You mean _pulse_ of the town," the pink mare corrected helpfully with a smile.

"What did _I_ say?" the stallion asked coyly, a sly gleam in his eye. As the mares struggled with how to tackle the obviously rhetorical question, he arrived at the table they had been standing at. "Black Hill, owner and proprietor of the joint in which you now stand," he introduced, locking eyes with Pinkie whose constitution was already beginning to crumble.

"Hi there! My name's Pinkie Pie and-" she began.

"_Pinkie Pie_..." Black repeated with a bemused smirk.

"Umm... yeah. And this is Rainbow Dash, my wife," Pinkie continued, gesturing towards the pegasus.

"Your wife?" he asked as he arched a brow.

"My wife," Pinkie confirmed with an uncomfortable nod.

"...Your... _wife_?" the unicorn repeated in disbelief.

"Yes her wife!" Rainbow Dash shouted, taking a step forward and glaring at him. Black Hill's eyes widened in a moment of clarity.

"Ah," he said after a pause. Turning to Applejack and Fluttershy, he shook his hoof in their general direction. "And you two as well?" the unicorn asked bluntly.

"...Yep..." Applejack finally responded with a sigh. However, the mare was less insulted by his crudeness and more surprised that the saloon owner acted as if their encounter earlier in the day had never happened.

"My, oh my! Must be something in the fuckin' water over at Ponyville, huh?" Black said, a broad grin on his face.

"Hey! Who do you think you are, buddy?" Rainbow Dash exclaimed with a scowl as she stepped forward, fed up with his insensitivity. The unicorn raised his eyebrows in genuine surprise.

"The proper fuckin' question to be asking is not who I _think_ I am, but simply, who the fuck I am. It'd do you fuckin' good to discover that some time, _buddy,_" he uttered menacingly before his demeanor shifted back to joviality. "Let's forget the whole thing, huh? No fuckin' offense intended. You'll have to pardon me. I am stupidest when I try to be funny," he continued amicably before turning to the bartender. "Let's have a sack!" he called over, before the earth pony withdrew a brown sack from under the bar which was then hoisted into the air by Black's magic. The four mares could only watch as the unicorn took over the conversation. Even Rainbow Dash prevented herself from giving him further rebuke after his apology, regardless of how insincere it was. "To be honest, I'm surprised Gladius didn't scare you out of the joint before I made it downstairs," Black Hill said as he nodded to the bartender and opened the bag.

"Oh no. Not at all. He was very nice," Fluttershy spoke up, blushing slightly. The unicorn turned to her with an amused expression.

"Sure, his cheery oafishness is endearing at first, but it gets old very fuckin' quick," he responded and Gladius let out a hearty guffaw at his own expense. No one else laughed. "Salt?" he offered as he began pour white cubes from the sack into a small tray on the table. The mares looked at each other awkwardly before Applejack chose to speak up.

"Thank you kindly, but none of us partake," she informed.

"Well I hope it don't shatter your dainty sensibilities if I 'partake,' myself," Black Hill said before immediately licking up the tray and letting out a contented sigh.

"...Go right ahead..." Applejack deadpanned as he was setting the tray down. The saloon keeper eyed the orange earth pony carefully.

"Judging by the adorable hat, the drawling accent, and the little apples plastered on your flank, I take it you're the salt fiend's relation?" he observed.

"You mean Braeburn?" she asked, beginning to be numbed to irritation after having this conversation over and over. "He was my kin, name's Applejack," she added, already knowing the answer to her previous question.

"I fucking knew it. All of you apple picking cocksuckers have the same way about you. Come to take over his orchard then, no doubt?" Black said with a hint of inexplicable frustration in his voice.

"Yessir. Braeburn left me all his earthly possessions in his will," she confirmed proudly.

"His _will_..." the unicorn repeated loudly, shooting a sideways glare at Gladius who looked down sheepishly.

"Uhhh... Yessir," Applejack said, utterly confused. Black Hill looked back to her as his expression went from frustrated to compassionate.

"It's got to be quite the ordeal, abandoning your home to relocate in the fuckin' hinterlands, not accounting for the fact that there ain't a single acquaintance, relation, or even simply a soul that doesn't want to rob you fucking blind awaiting your arrival," he said sympathetically.

"I'm mighty grateful for the concern Mr. Hill, but I've got all the friends and family a pony could ask for right here," she asserted, gesturing to the mares beside her. The group smiled as the saloon keeper struggled to suppress a gag.

"Isn't that just darling?" he commented through his teeth, rolling his eyes. "Have you even considered the fucking headache of managing an entire apple operation on your own?" Black added, the feigned sympathy beginning to fade.

"I've done it before, sir... Pardon my askin', but what exactly are you gettin' at?" she asked hesitantly, beginning to see some sort of ulterior motive.

"Getting at? Oh, I'm not getting at anything! I'm just a concerned old pony who loses sleep every fucking night over the troubles and hardships of the young folk. It would just give me some precious peace of mind if I could take that cumbersome old orchard off your hooves, fair recompense included, of course..." Black Hill offered, his intense, almost flaring eyes contrasting sharply with the mellow sweetness of his voice.

"Meanin' you want to buy Appleloosa Orchards?" Applejack asked incredulously.

"How does one hundred and fifty thousand sound?" he said, narrowing his eyes. Applejack almost choked as her friends' jaws dropped.  
>"You're pullin' my leg..." the mare asserted, still absolutely dumbfounded.<br>"Serious as a slit throat," Black assured her, his stony expression not changing. Applejack closed her eyes, extremely tempted, but after a pregnant pause, she shook her head.  
>"Your offer is mighty generous, Mr. Hill, but that orchard is an Apple Family orchard, and no amount of bits could make me sell away my family's honor," Applejack said resolutely.<br>"Honor being a couple of fucking apple trees?" the unicorn hissed, venom dripping from every syllable. Applejack was taken aback by the sudden dissolving of Black Hill's kindly mood and simply blinked at him. After a moment, the unicorn sighed and and composed himself, pouring a few more salt cubes into the tray. He raised it up as if to toast. "Let's hope you run it better than your fucking cousin," he muttered before downing the salt. Applejack didn't understand the implication.  
>"You knew him?" she asked carefully.<br>"Braeburn? Of course! He was a regular here. How else do you think he became a salt fiend? He just couldn't get enough of Big Kahuna's music. Isn't that right B.K.?" he shouted over to the brown pegasus at the piano.

"Correctamundo, boss! Old Braeburn did enjoy a tune or two," Big Kahuna confirmed without ceasing his playing or even turning his head.

"Only when he was dehydrated out of his fuckin' mind, that is... See? Us degenerate lowlifes are all acquainted in some form or other. So glad you could join our humble ranks... Welcome to fucking Appleloosa!" he exclaimed in a resigned tone, toasting yet again with a third downing of salt. The unicorn grimaced as his cold eyes darted around as if he was deep in thought until Pinkie Pie finally spoke up.

"Ummm... Wasn't this meeting supposed to be about the lot...?" she asked timidly, secretly wishing she were anywhere else but the saloon. Black Hill snapped back to reality and narrowed his gaze at Pinkie.

"Of course! The fuckin' lot! You'll have to forgive me. I'm an old bastard, losing my train of thought and going off on tangents and the like. Which one did you have in mind?" he said, his amiable, businesspony demeanor returning.

"Lot fourteen, pretty please with sugar lumps on top!" Pinkie replied before darting a hoof to her mouth, embarrassed that she let her 'Pinkieness' slip through. Black, however, didn't seem to notice with the potential transaction on the table.

"Prime fuckin' location! If there was anymore foot traffic, they'd have to call it a riot! Rent's seventy dollars a day to The Pearl. Tent only. No construction," the unicorn informed. The way he spoke gave away his business experience as well as his mastery of negotiation.

"Actually, we were looking to buy it, mister. A bakery can't bake many baked goods in a tent," she said, a bit of animation returning to the earth pony.

"...A bakery?" Black asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Mmhmm! We'll be giving out free samples to everpony when we open so you can have all the tasty tasteables you can eat!" she elaborated.

"You hear that boys? Finally! Our barbaric lust for cupcakes can be sated at last!" he shouted to Gladius and Big Kahuna who simply grinned as they worked. "How do I find myself perpetually beset by bewilderment?" he groaned to himself while rubbing the top of his snout.

"I'm prepared to pay..." she trailed off as she looked over to Rainbow Dash helplessly who then mouthed a silent number. "...five thousand," she continued.

"You'd pay seven thousand," Black countered as he paced thoughtfully.

"What if I told you we would?" she asked slyly, beginning to feel more and more comfortable.

"I'd tell you that price isn't the present fucking issue," he snapped at her, visibly bothered by something. "What's your connection with Canterlot?" he asked suddenly, turning to her.

"Ummmmm... what?" she gaped him.

"In the process of hearing things about you filly foolers, I happened to hear that you have friends in high places, specifically at the right hoof of Princess Celestia herself, that haughty cunt," he seethed. Pinkie and her friends were baffled.

"I'm sorry Mr. Hill, but I don't understand..." Pinkie said quietly, her confidence crumbling once again.

"At least she has her backwoods, inbred, bumpkin 'honor' to account for her presence in the town!" he shouted, waving a hoof at Applejack before turning back to Pinkie. "What's your excuse? A fuckin' _bakery_? You honestly expect me to be fooled by that fairy tale and set you up in a prime location not a block from my joint with backing from the cocksuckers in Canterlot?" he exclaimed, his eyes turning wild. Pinkie could only shrink back, speechless and dumbfounded. Rainbow Dash quickly stepped in between the two.

"You better watch your tone, Black. I don't care _who_ you are, you do _not_ speak to my wife like that. I'm not sure what sort of ridiculous rumors you've heard, but we aren't spies for Canterlot, or secret competition, or whatever you think we are. Pinkie is just trying to live her dream and open up her own bakery. That's all. You have our offer," the pegasus explained passionately with an intensity in her eyes that matched Black's. The two stared at each other for a long while until the unicorn finally broke his silence.

"As touching of a story as that is, spare me the fucking waterworks. Here's my counteroffer to your offer: go _fuck_ yourself!" he yelled irately before turning around to ascend back up the stairs. The entire saloon turned to gape at the four mares who simply walked out without another word.

"Well that was hardly what I was expecting," Applejack commented as the party stepped out into the thoroughfare.

"Some mayor! If he let's everypony do whatever they want, like I don't know, maybe buy half the town, what's the point of even having a mayor?" Rainbow Dash exclaimed in a huff. "...Talking like we can't handle some sleazy businesspony..." she added mostly to herself.

"I'm sure Mr. Oolong does many things like... make laws," Fluttershy suggested quietly.

"Apparently, even the sheriff don't like his laws if that dramatic exit was any indication," Applejack responded, not sure why she felt the need to side with Dash. The yellow pegasus submitted through silence.

"Well I liked him! He was like a friendly cute grandpa!" Pinkie Pie asserted with a giggle which was met with a groan from her wife.

"You would. You would just love to gamble away our savings while sucking down tea with that senile old coot, wouldn't you?" Dash responded bitterly, dismissing Pinkie's approval. "Come on, let's get to The Pearl and size up this big shot," she continued as she gestured her wife to follow her.

"Actually, I was thinkin' we could join you at the saloon," Applejack suggested somewhat awkwardly, a hint of nervousness permeating her voice. Rainbow Dash stopped and quirked an eyebrow as she looked at her friend.

"Why? You have the key to the farm house. Don't you want to go check out your new home?" the pegasus inquired. The earth pony turned her eyes toward the ground.

"Well I figured we weren't in a rush and maybe y'all needed some backup," Applejack answered before turning to her wife. "If that's all right with you, sugarcube," she added.

"Oh it's fine. I've never been in a saloon before," Fluttershy responded, filled with naive enthusiasm.

"Whatever," Rainbow Dash conceded with a shrug. As the group made their way down Main Street, Applejack bit her lip in anticipation. She was glad that her excuse was bought without much consideration. She could never admit that her true motivation was the stranger on the balcony. She had a hunch that he was the same pony the mayor had mentioned but she needed to be sure. For some inexplicable reason, she felt the need to meet him face to face.

When the group finally arrived at The Pearl, they took a moment to take in the building. It loomed over them, casting an enormous afternoon shadow that engulfed much of the thoroughfare. Even the carving of a giant clam, pearl included, possessed an unsettling quality. They could hear the low wail of a piano as the muffled notes sailed over them from inside. The music almost sounded... sad. At this point, even Rainbow Dash was beginning to be affected. The pegasus quickly shook off the ominous feeling that was beginning to creep up her spine and the four ponies stepped inside.

"Well slap me thrice and hand me to me mum! Four mares, here, and to top it all off, it's only four o'clock! It must be my lucky day!" exclaimed a burgundy earth pony stallion that was standing behind the bar, a broad smile across his face. His accent was foreign, but apparently from a different part of Equestria than the mayor's.

"Oh... howdy," Applejack greeted, surprised by the sudden and enthusiastic bartender. His extremely short, blood red mane contrasted with his enormous size. He was at least two feet taller than the mares and his broad frame was complemented by a set of huge muscles.

"'Ello there! Welcome to The Pearl! Tray of salt for you? Maybe one on the house for the pretty little thing in the back?" he offered, shooting a wink at Fluttershy who immediately turned red and turned away, a flattered smile on her face.

"Oh my. I mean, oh no. I mean, no thank you... sir," the pegasus replied as she looked away, still blushing profusely.

"As you wish, poppit. Anypony else?" he inquired, unfazed by Fluttershy's awkward rejection.

"No!" Applejack responded for the group sharply, a twinge of jealousy in her voice.

"Actually, we're only here to speak with Black Hill," Rainbow Dash informed promptly, cutting to the chase. The bartender's smile gave way to a serious look of consideration.

"To what purpose, love?" he asked slowly. Dash had to roll her eyes and shake off his manner of speaking. She didn't particularly take kindly to being called 'love' by a stranger, especially a stallion.

"We're going to buy one of his lots," she explained bluntly. Without saying a word to Rainbow Dash, he looked over to a brown pegasus stallion seated at the piano who gave him a slight nod.

"Black! Some mares here to see you! Looking to see about a lot, they are!" he suddenly shouted up at the exposed second floor to an open door that was presumably the proprietor's office. The few saloon patrons that were in the building turned to the four mares with bewildered expressions before turning back to their own business at the bar, poker table, and the like.

"Okay Pinkie, because this is your bakery, you need to do the talking. It's how you deal with guys like this. He won't want to deal with an intermediary. Do you think you can handle it?" Rainbow Dash said in a low voice.

"Duh! Talking is what I do best, silly!" Pinkie replied enthusiastically. Her face composed into a serious look of determination that evaporated when a loud thud rang out through the saloon. It was followed by another, and then another as the slow and heavy footsteps grew louder until the open door was darkened by a dark gray unicorn stallion. His greasy, black, slicked back mane shone as he emerged from his office and leaned on the railing to observe the entirety of his saloon. Applejack's heart sank to her stomach upon realizing that it was the same unicorn who had stared her down. She made sure not to make eye contact with him as he surveyed the room.

"So these are the Ponyvillians I've been hearing about! Come from their civilized world to bestow culture, and courtesy, and every other fucking thing to us uncouth savages, squatting like beasts out on the fringe of society!" the unicorn called down with a grin as he made his way to the stairs. No one had any idea how to respond. He appeared to be jovial and outgoing, but there was something... dire about him. All of the mares could sense it, but they couldn't put their hooves on his exact nature.

"You've heard about us?" Pinkie asked cautiously, remembering her orders to do the talking whilst taking great pains to suppress her 'Pinkieness'.

"When one has a hoof on the throat of the town, one tends to hear things," he conceded with a slow nod.

"You mean _pulse_ of the town," the pink mare corrected helpfully with a smile.

"What did _I_ say?" the stallion asked coyly, a sly gleam in his eye. As the mares struggled with how to tackle the obviously rhetorical question, he arrived at the table they had been standing at. "Black Hill, owner and proprietor of the joint in which you now stand," he introduced, locking eyes with Pinkie whose constitution was already beginning to crumble.

"Hi there! My name's Pinkie Pie and-" she began.

"_Pinkie Pie_..." Black repeated with a bemused smirk.

"Umm... yeah. And this is Rainbow Dash, my wife," Pinkie continued, gesturing towards the pegasus.

"Your wife?" he asked as he arched a brow.

"My wife," Pinkie confirmed with an uncomfortable nod.

"...Your... _wife_?" the unicorn repeated in disbelief.

"Yes her wife!" Rainbow Dash shouted, taking a step forward and glaring at him. Black Hill's eyes widened in a moment of clarity.

"Ah," he said after a pause. Turning to Applejack and Fluttershy, he shook his hoof in their general direction. "And you two as well?" the unicorn asked bluntly.

"...Yep..." Applejack finally responded with a sigh. However, the mare was less insulted by his crudeness and more surprised that the saloon owner acted as if their encounter earlier in the day had never happened.

"My, oh my! Must be something in the fuckin' water over at Ponyville, huh?" Black said, a broad grin on his face.

"Hey! Who do you think you are, buddy?" Rainbow Dash exclaimed with a scowl as she stepped forward, fed up with his insensitivity. The unicorn raised his eyebrows in genuine surprise.

"The proper fuckin' question to be asking is not who I _think_ I am, but simply, who the fuck I am. It'd do you fuckin' good to discover that some time, _buddy,_" he uttered menacingly before his demeanor shifted back to joviality. "Let's forget the whole thing, huh? No fuckin' offense intended. You'll have to pardon me. I am stupidest when I try to be funny," he continued amicably before turning to the bartender. "Let's have a sack!" he called over, before the earth pony withdrew a brown sack from under the bar which was then hoisted into the air by Black's magic. The four mares could only watch as the unicorn took over the conversation. Even Rainbow Dash prevented herself from giving him further rebuke after his apology, regardless of how insincere it was. "To be honest, I'm surprised Gladius didn't scare you out of the joint before I made it downstairs," Black Hill said as he nodded to the bartender and opened the bag.

"Oh no. Not at all. He was very nice," Fluttershy spoke up, blushing slightly. The unicorn turned to her with an amused expression.

"Sure, his cheery oafishness is endearing at first, but it gets old very fuckin' quick," he responded and Gladius let out a hearty guffaw at his own expense. No one else laughed. "Salt?" he offered as he began pour white cubes from the sack into a small tray on the table. The mares looked at each other awkwardly before Applejack chose to speak up.

"Thank you kindly, but none of us partake," she informed.

"Well I hope it don't shatter your dainty sensibilities if I 'partake,' myself," Black Hill said before immediately licking up the tray and letting out a contented sigh.

"...Go right ahead..." Applejack deadpanned as he was setting the tray down. The saloon keeper eyed the orange earth pony carefully.

"Judging by the adorable hat, the drawling accent, and the little apples plastered on your flank, I take it you're the salt fiend's relation?" he observed.

"You mean Braeburn?" she asked, beginning to be numbed to irritation after having this conversation over and over. "He was my kin, name's Applejack," she added, already knowing the answer to her previous question.

"I fucking knew it. All of you apple picking cocksuckers have the same way about you. Come to take over his orchard then, no doubt?" Black said with a hint of inexplicable frustration in his voice.

"Yessir. Braeburn left me all his earthly possessions in his will," she confirmed proudly.

"His _will_..." the unicorn repeated loudly, shooting a sideways glare at Gladius who looked down sheepishly.

"Uhhh... Yessir," Applejack said, utterly confused. Black Hill looked back to her as his expression went from frustrated to compassionate.

"It's got to be quite the ordeal, abandoning your home to relocate in the fuckin' hinterlands, not accounting for the fact that there ain't a single acquaintance, relation, or even simply a soul that doesn't want to rob you fucking blind awaiting your arrival," he said sympathetically.

"I'm mighty grateful for the concern Mr. Hill, but I've got all the friends and family a pony could ask for right here," she asserted, gesturing to the mares beside her. The group smiled as the saloon keeper struggled to suppress a gag.

"Isn't that just darling?" he commented through his teeth, rolling his eyes. "Have you even considered the fucking headache of managing an entire apple operation on your own?" Black added, the feigned sympathy beginning to fade.

"I've done it before, sir... Pardon my askin', but what exactly are you gettin' at?" she asked hesitantly, beginning to see some sort of ulterior motive.

"Getting at? Oh, I'm not getting at anything! I'm just a concerned old pony who loses sleep every fucking night over the troubles and hardships of the young folk. It would just give me some precious peace of mind if I could take that cumbersome old orchard off your hooves, fair recompense included, of course..." Black Hill offered, his intense, almost flaring eyes contrasting sharply with the mellow sweetness of his voice.

"Meanin' you want to buy Appleloosa Orchards?" Applejack asked incredulously.

"How does one hundred and fifty thousand sound?" he said, narrowing his eyes. Applejack almost choked as her friends' jaws dropped.  
>"You're pullin' my leg..." the mare asserted, still absolutely dumbfounded.<br>"Serious as a slit throat," Black assured her, his stony expression not changing. Applejack closed her eyes, extremely tempted, but after a pregnant pause, she shook her head.  
>"Your offer is mighty generous, Mr. Hill, but that orchard is an Apple Family orchard, and no amount of bits could make me sell away my family's honor," Applejack said resolutely.<br>"Honor being a couple of fucking apple trees?" the unicorn hissed, venom dripping from every syllable. Applejack was taken aback by the sudden dissolving of Black Hill's kindly mood and simply blinked at him. After a moment, the unicorn sighed and and composed himself, pouring a few more salt cubes into the tray. He raised it up as if to toast. "Let's hope you run it better than your fucking cousin," he muttered before downing the salt. Applejack didn't understand the implication.  
>"You knew him?" she asked carefully.<br>"Braeburn? Of course! He was a regular here. How else do you think he became a salt fiend? He just couldn't get enough of Big Kahuna's music. Isn't that right B.K.?" he shouted over to the brown pegasus at the piano.

"Correctamundo, boss! Old Braeburn did enjoy a tune or two," Big Kahuna confirmed without ceasing his playing or even turning his head.

"Only when he was dehydrated out of his fuckin' mind, that is... See? Us degenerate lowlifes are all acquainted in some form or other. So glad you could join our humble ranks... Welcome to fucking Appleloosa!" he exclaimed in a resigned tone, toasting yet again with a third downing of salt. The unicorn grimaced as his cold eyes darted around as if he was deep in thought until Pinkie Pie finally spoke up.

"Ummm... Wasn't this meeting supposed to be about the lot...?" she asked timidly, secretly wishing she were anywhere else but the saloon. Black Hill snapped back to reality and narrowed his gaze at Pinkie.

"Of course! The fuckin' lot! You'll have to forgive me. I'm an old bastard, losing my train of thought and going off on tangents and the like. Which one did you have in mind?" he said, his amiable, businesspony demeanor returning.

"Lot fourteen, pretty please with sugar lumps on top!" Pinkie replied before darting a hoof to her mouth, embarrassed that she let her 'Pinkieness' slip through. Black, however, didn't seem to notice with the potential transaction on the table.

"Prime fuckin' location! If there was anymore foot traffic, they'd have to call it a riot! Rent's seventy dollars a day to The Pearl. Tent only. No construction," the unicorn informed. The way he spoke gave away his business experience as well as his mastery of negotiation.

"Actually, we were looking to buy it, mister. A bakery can't bake many baked goods in a tent," she said, a bit of animation returning to the earth pony.

"...A bakery?" Black asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Mmhmm! We'll be giving out free samples to everpony when we open so you can have all the tasty tasteables you can eat!" she elaborated.

"You hear that boys? Finally! Our barbaric lust for cupcakes can be sated at last!" he shouted to Gladius and Big Kahuna who simply grinned as they worked. "How do I find myself perpetually beset by bewilderment?" he groaned to himself while rubbing the top of his snout.

"I'm prepared to pay..." she trailed off as she looked over to Rainbow Dash helplessly who then mouthed a silent number. "...five thousand," she continued.

"You'd pay seven thousand," Black countered as he paced thoughtfully.

"What if I told you we would?" she asked slyly, beginning to feel more and more comfortable.

"I'd tell you that price isn't the present fucking issue," he snapped at her, visibly bothered by something. "What's your connection with Canterlot?" he asked suddenly, turning to her.

"Ummmmm... what?" she gaped him.

"In the process of hearing things about you filly foolers, I happened to hear that you have friends in high places, specifically at the right hoof of Princess Celestia herself, that haughty cunt," he seethed. Pinkie and her friends were baffled.

"I'm sorry Mr. Hill, but I don't understand..." Pinkie said quietly, her confidence crumbling once again.

"At least she has her backwoods, inbred, bumpkin 'honor' to account for her presence in the town!" he shouted, waving a hoof at Applejack before turning back to Pinkie. "What's your excuse? A fuckin' _bakery_? You honestly expect me to be fooled by that fairy tale and set you up in a prime location not a block from my joint with backing from the cocksuckers in Canterlot?" he exclaimed, his eyes turning wild. Pinkie could only shrink back, speechless and dumbfounded. Rainbow Dash quickly stepped in between the two.

"You better watch your tone, Black. I don't care _who_ you are, you do _not_ speak to my wife like that. I'm not sure what sort of ridiculous rumors you've heard, but we aren't spies for Canterlot, or secret competition, or whatever you think we are. Pinkie is just trying to live her dream and open up her own bakery. That's all. You have our offer," the pegasus explained passionately with an intensity in her eyes that matched Black's. The two stared at each other for a long while until the unicorn finally broke his silence.

"As touching of a story as that is, spare me the fucking waterworks. Here's my counteroffer to your offer: go _fuck_ yourself!" he yelled irately before turning around to ascend back up the stairs. The entire saloon turned to gape at the four mares who simply walked out without another word.


	4. Chapter 4

Appleloosa

Chapter 4

"Did you really just turn down one hundred and fifty thousand bits?" Rainbow Dash asked Applejack once they were back out in the thoroughfare.

"Like I said, there ain't no price that would make me sell one of my family's orchards... 'specially not to that foul mouthed fella," she replied with a frown.

"I thought you made a wonderful decision, Applejack," Fluttershy agreed as she reassuringly nuzzled her wife's neck.

"Thanks sugarcube. Besides, if he was willin' to pay such a hefty sum for an orchard, Braeburn must've had himself one profitable operation," Applejack decided.

"What I don't get is why that jerk head was such a meanie!" Pinkie shouted off to the side at no one in particular. "I mean, come on! Why does he care that one of our bestest best friends is a fancy pants bigshot in Canterlot?" she added with a roar of frustration.

"I don't know, but there is something really weird going on with that pony. In fact, this whole town is just... bizarre," Rainbow Dash answered before sighing. "Can we go to the hotel now? I'm freakin' exhausted," she added wearily.

"We best be headin' home too," Applejack agreed. The group once again parted ways as the sun began to sink in the sky.

Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash made their trip in silence, both of them lost in thought as they trudged through the muddy streets. After a short while, they arrived at the Pioneer Central Hotel, a modest green building with low ceilings that added to the intimate coziness of the establishment. Upon checking in and finding their room, Dash began unpacking the luggage that had been delivered that morning. The pegasus was pulling out a rubber chicken from her wife's bag when she heard a loud sniff from behind her. She turned around to see Pinkie crying on the bed, her hair straightened and her face buried in a tear stained pillow.

"Oh no... Ummm... Pinkie?" Rainbow Dash asked awkwardly. Although they had been together for almost ten years, the pegasus was still uncomfortable on the very rare occasions that her wife actually cried.

"I'm so sorry..." the earth pony said, her voice muffled by the pillow. "I ruined everything. I said I could handle him and I couldn't. Now I'll never open 'Pinkie Pie's Party Pastry Palace'... I hate this place..." she continued with a sob as she curled up into a ball.

"Oh, come on Pinkie, don't say that," Dash replied with a twinge of pain in her voice as she approached the bed. She could hardly bare to see the earth pony so miserable. "You did great in there. That Black Hill guy is just psychotic or something. I'm really proud of you," she assured her as she climbed onto the soft mattress and draped a foreleg over her wife.

"...For real and for true?" the earth pony asked with a sniff, rolling over to face Dash. Her red, puffy eyes searched for any form of solace.

"I Pinkie swear," the pegasus replied as she slowly pantomimed the necessary gestures and shed a tear of her own. "Trust me. We'll figure it out. We always do," she added with a confident smile, closing her eyes and pulling her wife in.

Applejack and Fluttershy were no more talkative than their friends during their long walk through the various alleys and avenues of Appleloosa as the sun began to set. Braeburn's old farmhouse was on the outskirts of the town so Applejack had ample time to plan the reopening of the orchard. She considered Black Hill's offer and came to the conclusion that it must have been profitable before her cousins death despite his personal habits. Why else would the saloon keeper be so adamant about his offer? The earth pony assumed that she wouldn't have to work too hard to get the place up and running again and was finally beginning to feel at least some of her anxiety aleviating, regardless of how poorly their meeting with Black Hill had gone. As they drew nearer, her excitement rose from the anticipation of seeing her new home and the beautiful green sea of treetops peppers with gleaming ripened apples. The mental image was enough to make her heart race as she quickened her pace to gallop down the street that led to the agricultural district. As she made it out of the alley and onto the ridge that overlooked the orchard, Applejack stopped dead in her tracks. She stared out over Appleloosa Orchards with a look of absolute horror. There was no vibrant green sea or any ripened apples. Most of the apple trees appeared sickly and withered while many of them were dead and barren. Their gnarled and twisted branches rattled in the breeze like outstretched forelegs begging for mercy.

"No... How could you, Braeburn?..." she spoke to herself softly as Fluttershy finally caught up, completely out of breath.

"Oh my..." the pegasus said with a gasp. She looked up at Applejack with an expression of sympathetic sadness. She was familiar with how her wife could get when it came to apples, so she knew that it was best to give the earth pony space in a situation like this.

"May I have the key? I'll tidy up a bit and start dinner," Fluttershy said, knowing that her wife would need some time.

"Thanks, sugarcube," Applejack replied and passed on the parcel that mayor Oolong had given her, her gaze still fixed on the orchard below. As soon as Fluttershy entered the musty, white farmhouse and closed the door behind her, Applejack bolted down into the orchard. She galloped past the countless wilted trees, her destination burning in her mind. When she made it to the large hill in the middle of the orchard, she once again halted suddenly when met with the sight of the apple tree that sat at the very top. She slowly approached it as the sun slipped below the horizon and observed that it had been split in two by a bolt of lightning, revealing a hollow, rotting core.

"Howdy Bloomberg..." Applejack said to the tree sadly, all the urgency and fear gone from her voice. "I'm mighty sorry 'bout not comin' to visit. I meant to. It's just that with Sweet Apple Acres, and Applebloom, and Granny Smith, and Fluttershy, and... everythin'... I've just been so busy," she apologized as she took a seat next to the sundered tree and looked up at the stars as the emerged in the twilight sky. "And Braeburn would always make certain to visit us and not the other way around. I 'spose he didn't want me to see this, huh?" the mare considered as she hung her head and placed a hoof on a gnarled root. "Momma missed you. I never did get another favorite tree or anythin' like that. I 'spose back then I reckoned that I would've had foals by now... Ain't it funny how life never turns out how you expect it to?" she asked with a forced chuckle as a single tear rolled down her face. "...But Fluttershy's great though. Best thing that ever happened to me. Y'all should've spent more time together. You would love her. I know I do..." the earth pony continued, wiping her eyes and slowly getting back up. "Anyways... I should be gettin' back. Don't want the misses to start frettin'. Goodbye, Bloomberg. Momma loves you... I'm sorry..." she finished and turned around to slowly descend the hill as the enormous full moon shined down indifferently.


End file.
